


Blue Eyes

by synoct



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Angst, Death, Disease, Doctors, Fluffy, Leader, Losing Someone, M/M, Sad, University, best friend - Freeform, flower boys, part time job, popular boys, smart students
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-08
Updated: 2018-10-23
Packaged: 2019-07-27 16:12:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16222658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/synoct/pseuds/synoct
Summary: Minhyun's blue eyes is something that makes Jaehwan fall in love. but it turned out something he hates most after he found out the truth behind Minhyun's beautiful eyes.





	1. 3 Months of Missing You

**Author's Note:**

> hi, this is my second work. i hope i can deliver a better story. i'm sorry for the angst story. maybe because i was drought of minhwan moments, i've got some inspiration to do this. 
> 
> sorry for any grammar mistakes. English isn't my mother language but i'm still learning :)  
> hope you enjoy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaehwan spent 3 months in New York to forget about his late boyfriend only to finds out that 3 months isn't enough for him to forget about Minhyun.

Jaehwan sips his warm tea. The clock on the wall shows him the time around 8. He sits behind the window feels the sunshine and the wind breeze on his body. It was almost 3 months after he decided to take a break.

 _"Eomma, i think i need a break for some months. Can i?"_  
_"Is that so? If it can make you feel better son"_

All this 3 months he tried hard to forget about his late boyfriend. Hwang Minhyun. His families and friends help him removed all the things that might remind him of Minhyun. He moved to New York after some months he spent in Los Angelese to takes care of Minhyun. He took a break as doctor after finishing his internship program there. He took part time job in a restaurant in New York. He chose to spend the 3 months in New York because of the liveliness of the city. Maybe it could divert his mind from Minhyun, he thought.

He usually spends his monday night in a coffe shop near The Times Square looking at the crowd of people in front of the coffe shop. No matter what time it was, he can see a lot of people passing by. He usually spends his time there alone or with his american friends. But most of the times they complain about Jaehwan who can't join them at weekend because he should do his part time job. Not only that, they prefer going to a bar with a loud music while Jaehwan prefer to be alone in a quite coffee shop. There is one time that he went to a bar and his friends enjoyed the loud music and danced with some strangers. Jaehwan prefer to stay at his table. No one catched his eyes no matter how hard they tried. Sometimes some waiters will approach him and ask him to dance. Some of them didn't look like a waiter of a loud music bar because of their pure face. Jaehwan didn't do anything except refused them.

Few days from now, he will go back to Korea. Start a new life or continue the life that has been waiting for him. Back to a reality. Being a doctor. His contract of part time job was over few days ago. He spent some times in his last days in New York to packs some necessary stuffs to bring to korea. Most of his clothes donated in New York. In the middle of him packing his stuffs, daniel called him. Jaehwan naturally smiles after saw "niel brother" on his screen.  
"Hi bro, what's up?"  
"Hi bro, how was your last days in New York?" Jaehwan can hear Daniel's laugh.  
"Nothing special bro. I'm busy packing some stuffs here and visiting some places in New York as i don't know when i will be back here again. What's the matter?"  
"Nothing. When will you go back? Do you want me to pick you up?"  
"I knew i can always count on you. I'll send you my flight schedule. Are you driving to hospital now?"  
"Sure. I hope my schedules will cooperate with me. No, i just finished my night shift. I'm on my way home. I miss my bed."  
"Haha. I almost forget that we have different work hour with other people."  
"Yeah. That's our job. um... Jaehwan!" Daniel called Jaehwan and from his voice, he seems a bit doubt to say what he would say.  
"Yes?"  
"Have you called Jisung hyung?" Daniel asked about Minhyun's brother that suddenly change Jaehwan's mood. Jaehwan didn't fully forget about Minhyun. His heart still felt heavy remembering Minhyun. Everything that remind him about Minhyun was like an on-off button to change his mood.  
"No. Why?" Jaehwan could't hide his sadness that was shown by his voice. Daniel realises about that but something triggered him to do it.  
"Try calling Jisung hyung then. You.. haven't contacted his families since then.." by saying that, somehow made him feels what Jaehwan's feeling.  
"I think it's better for you to contact them soon." Daniel continued.  
It's true. He hasn't talked with them since the day. To be exact, he couldn't contact them since that day. The day that he found out that Mr. Hwang that 1 month before laid on his bed in that room, passed away.

 

***  
3 months ago

 

"Kid, i'm sorry to say this but Mr. Hwang passed away 2 weeks ago. Didn't his family tell you that? He's such a nice person though" Saying the grandmother who stayed in the next room.  
"I hope you'll be strong." Said the grandmother with her left strength. She pat Jaehwan's shoulder. Giving a bit of strength to Jaehwan. Just a little but better than nothing.  
Jaehwan can't say anything. Too hurt to ask more to make sure that what she's saying was wrong. His body suddenly lost its strength. Naturally he look at Daniel behind him. His face looked so shock. His jaw dropped. Never Jaehwan seen him like that. Jaehwan felt his body lost more strength after seeing that. Daniel suddenly made a sudden moved, run to the grandmother. He asked the grandma who's not far away yet from them.  
"Grandma, are you sure about that?" His voice heard shaky. Jaehwan could feel it that Daniel's heart beat fast due to unbelievable news.  
"Mr. Hwang Minhyun?"  
"Yes. The korean right?" The grandma asked him. Daniel nodded at her.  
"I'm so sorry about that. But you can ask the nurse to make sure of that" the grandma suggested. Daniel then go to the nurses desk to asked about minhyun there.  
"Miss, can i ask about Mr. Hwang Minhyun that some months ago admitted to this hospital? He was still here a month ago" Daniel asked hurriedly as soon as he saw the nurses.  
"Let me check for it first" the nurse busy looking at the computer.  
"There are two Mr. Hwang Minhyun. One of them moved out from this hospital last month and the other one passed away two weeks ago." Daniel in between afraid and relieved. "There is still a possibility that Minhyun is alive" he said to himself.  
"Nurse, can you tell me their ages?"  
"I'm afraid i can't give you more information. That is confidential. Maybe you can contact their respective families" He's back to Jaehwan who still in his shock state.  
"Bro.. bro.. we still have hope. There were two Minhyun in this hospital."  
Jaehwan's sight gradually turned black. The last sight he's seen was the worried face of Daniel who was trying to reached him. He lost his consciousness.

***  
Daniel sit besides Jaehwan who's still unconscious. His hand holds Jaehwan's handphone which was the screen shown message from 3 weeks before,

 _"Jaehwan, please take care of yourself. I wish i could be by your side for a long time. But seems like this world won't give us more change. I hope there is only happiness remain in your memory of me. Don't regret of anything as i don't regret to open my heart for you in the first place. Let's take our separate ways from now on._  
_I love you."_

***  
_back to current time_

 

Jaehwan woke up from his nap. Only minutes left to him arrived at his hometown. Seoul. He’s so excited to be there again. From the window of the plane, he could see the citylights from above. “beautiful” he said inside. It was 3 months he left his country but it feels like he just left it for a day. Everything’s feels like a dream. The hurtful moment happened 3 months ago still remain something he couldn’t believe as he saw Seoul again. Daniel is already waiting at the airport for an hour. He spreads his hands as a clue for Jaehwan hugs him after they finally met. Jaehwan is run walking toward Daniel as soon as he saw his bestfriend. The two of them full of excitement.

“how are you brother?” Daniel asked.  
“never feels so good.” Jaehwan replied.  
Daniel gave Jaehwan a ride to his apartment. He also helped him to deliver Jaehwan’s stuffs to his apartment. They need few times back and forth to lifted all of his stuffs. They collected all of the unpacked items at the corner of his apartment near the living room. Daniel stay for awhile with Jaehwan talked about some things before he left him alone.  
The room feels so quite after Daniel left him alone. His body started to feel things. It’s the first time he’s back to his old apartment after he left to America. His body’s shaking. For a few times, he realised that his soul left his body because sometimes he stopped doing things and his eyes blanked. Every corner of his apartment remind him of Minhyun. He couldn’t cry because it’s too sudden. He spent some days like that and it’s getting better gradually.  
***  
Need some days for him to unpacked his stuffs. There is one suitcase that full of his books, from fictions to medical textbooks. Books helped him a lot to killed time and distracted his mind from negative thinking. He put the books on the bookshelf where he found a notebook that he used when he got private tutoring from Minhyun. That small book remind him of his old memories of Minhyun. He spent most of university life with him. They were like live together. He continued to put the remaining books.  
It’s midnight. Jaehwan couldn’t sleep that night because he didn’t get used to the Korean time yet. Finally he can cry that night. He remembered that at the time like that Minhyun used to beside him reading his medical textbook or his favorite fictions. If Minhyun was in a night shift, he used to call him to prevent him from sleepiness. Jaehwan wanted to recall everything about him as if he could bring him back again, but it was only give him an endless missing moment.  
He opened his handphone gallery. Minhyun’s pic were the most found there. Most of them are candid pics of Minhyun. Jaehwan’s most favorite is Minhyun’s blue eyes. He smiled when he found Minhyun’s witty face and it reduced his sadness a little bit. Looked like, 3 months isn’t enough to heal the hurt of losing someone you loved. For Jaehwan, every night was same. The time when he’s struggling to fight the missing of Minhyun.

In a lonely dark room. Jaehwan sits alone. Hourglass is being played.

 _Felt like it would last forever_  
_I remember our first time_  
_Your eyes are still the same_  
_So I can’t even see_  
_The goodbye that’s coming_


	2. Our First Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaehwan admitted to a medical faculty where he meets his senior, Minhyun. They spend much time together and develop feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I post the second chapter at the same time with the first chapter because, i feel bad to give you a sad story in chapter 1 so i give you the lovely one in this chapter.
> 
> hope you enjoy!
> 
> again, i'm sorry for some mistakes i made in my works :D english isn't my first language

8 years ago (the beginning of university life)

 

"The cold prince" Daniel whispered.

"Huh?" Jaehwan didn't understand what Daniel's talking about. He looked at Daniel who's his face look straight at something in front of him.

"Look!" Daniel tugged Jaehwan's arm by his elbow to let Jaehwan sees what he saw. Jaehwan naturally move his sight from Daniel to the front and found a beautiful creature just walked them by. That's the first time Jaehwan seeing Minhyun. Since Minhyun arrived at the cafetaria in his faculty, the cafetaria seems more noisy. A lot of female fangirling him. That's why the first impression Jaehwan got to Minhyun is quite strong. "The beautiful cold prince"

"They said, noone can approach him. He is like keep a distance to everyone. He is also very smart and every professor knows him. Also his blue eyes makes him looks more unreachable" Daniel gave more information to Jaehwan. Jaehwan couldn't look away his sight from him. There is something in Minhyun that he couldn't explain attracted to him. Minhyun felt the gaze Jaehwan gave him that he looked toward Jaehwan unconcsiously. For some seconds they look at each other. Jaehwan's eyes got bigger because of the unpredictable gaze from Minhyun until Minhyun look away from him and Jaehwan felt something strange. His heart beat faster. 

 

***

Months passed by after Jaehwan admitted to his university. One of the best university for medical study in Korea. He met Daniel since the first day of their study and he found him really suit him. Friendship wise. Because of his good marks in academic, other students nominated him to be their class leader and he won. It made Jaehwan busier than other students because he was responsible to be a bridge of students of their class and lecture assistant or professors. One of the assistant is Hwang Minhyun. 

 

"Good luck with the prince, Jaehwan!" Daniel giggled.

"What's with him? Eventhough he's cold, doesn't mean he's a bad person though" Jaehwan replied.

 

That day might be the first time Jaehwan talk with Minhyun because Minhyun would be the assistant in a lecture that Jaehwan took at the second semester. Minhyun asked Jaehwan to meet him in person to prepare the lecture. Jaehwan felt nervous after reading the message. Many students talk about Minhyun behind him. Most of them are bad words. Somehow Jaehwan feels pity of him. They also said that Minhyun is a fierce assistant. He's very smart and has a high standard of giving marks and many professors hear his recommendations a lot. Jaehwan walked toward Minhyun who's already at the cafetaria. 

"hello, Sunbae" Jaehwan greeted Minhyun. 

"Hai Jaehwan. Have you eaten? Bring your food first. Let's eat together. After that we talked about the lecture." He didn't think that he would had a lunch with this sunbae. People staring at them. One student is the class 2010 leader and the other is the class 2009 leader. What a perfect combination they said. 

 

When they had their lunch, they didn't talk much. Jaehwan wouldn't dare to see Minhyun’s face. He's too nervous and scared of him a little bit. 

"I want you all to attend the class 10 minutes before." Minhyun shared the rule of the new lecture after they finished their lunch.

"If you late, you won't be able to join the class."

"You all will have a mini quiz in every lecture. So prepare yourself before we're doing our class" 

"You, Jaehwan, will be responsible to collect all of your class assignments and give them to me."

Minhyun shared the rules one by one and Jaehwan wrote it on his notebook. 

He's back to his class with a facepalm.

"A subject that feels like joining 2 subjects. He didn't smile at all. At least smiling would give me a better impression of you" Jaehwan complained and he stopped walking remembering Minhyun's gaze. "His eyes are beautiful though" 

 

Students didn't realise that Minhyun would be more fierce in class moreover when they're doing the quiz.

 

Students complained about their bad score of their quiz results. The highest point was 67. Jaehwan seeing his score full of dissapointment. He always had good points since he was in elementary school. Other students ask him to share the complaining about their quiz results. so Jaehwan made a move. Jaehwan waited for Minhyun in front of the building of their faculty. As soon as he saw Minhyun, he walked toward Minhyun. 

"Sunbae!" 

 

Minhyun walked straight to an empty classroom. Jaehwan following him. 

"What is it Jaehwan ah?" Minhyun asked. Jaehwan eyes got bigger after heard Minhyun asked him in a friendly way. Jaehwan ah. Minhyun realised that. 

"Is it okay if i call you that?" 

"Yes. It's okay." Jaehwan replied right after that.

He shared about the students thought of their quiz results that Minhyun didn't give the score fair enough. 

 

"So you want me to give you all a good score eventhough you didn't do a good job?"

"No, i mean. How could you give none of us a good score? Maybe there is something you missed or... You didn't read our answers properly?" Jaehwan tried to explain and his voice becoming weak gradually.

"I read all of them carefully and eventhough you all didn't do a good job doesn't mean that i have to lower my standard to meet your score preference." Minhyun saw Jaehwan straight to his eyes. Jaehwan become weak. 

"I'm sorry." All Jaehwan could say. 

"I hope you guys study harder. So that i could give you satisfying scores." Minhyun left Jaehwan first.

"Sunbae." Jaehwan called him when he's still near. Minhyun turned around. 

"Thanks and.. you have beautiful eyes" Jaehwan screamed and smiled. There was a smirk at the corner of Minhyun's lip as he turned back to his direction. 

 

***

Nothing much better about their scores as Minhyun gave them harder and harder quiz. That triggered Jaehwan to do better. His target is to meet Minhyun's standard. It pissed him off to get bad scores as he always got first position in highschool. 

"Sunbae, i want to learn medical with you" Jaehwan proposed himself. 

"To meet your standard" he continued. 

Since then they're often seen together. Not only because Minhyun help him study but also because the two of them are leaders of their respective classes which many professors ask their help. As a new student, Jaehwan always need Minhyun's help to gives him more knowledge about being a class leader and about medical related things. As for Minhyun, he was glad that he could help Jaehwan. He can see Jaehwan's determination to get a good marks and to be a good class leader. Maybe because the two of them are hardworkers type so they can get along well. 

 

"Only you who can melt his coldness" Daniel said to Jaehwan. They were in the cafetaria at lunch.

"What do you mean? I only asked him to help my study" Jaehwan replied.

"Didn't you realise that his face become more excited when he's with you? Among of all the students, you're the closest to him now." Daniel said. 

"He's happy helping me to increase my GPA. Who doesn't happy to help others?" Jaehwan explained. 

"But, he's only helping you." Daniel replied. 

"Because the one who asked him to was only me. You all are scared of him. He's not as scary as you thinks. He's kind though" Jaehwan tried to cover Minhyun. 

 

Jaehwan and Minhyun closeness become the talk of the university. Many people started comparing him with Minhyun. They said Minhyun and Jaehwan have the opposite characteristics. Jaehwan is an easy going one on the other hand, Minhyun is a cold one. But they complete each other. Some of students were pairing them. Sometimes Jaehwan saw some fanarts that he kissed Minhyun. Seems like Minhyun also knew about that but they never talked about it. That's too awkward to talked to. Sometimes, it made Jaehwan uncomfortable when they were together because he could feel many eyes on them especially when they walk together. Jaehwan felt bad to Minhyun but the later seemed wasn't bothered at all. 

 

***

One thing that gave colors in his days in university is being leader class made him really popular not only in medical faculty but also outside his faculty. Some students approached him. He got 3 confessions in a year he's being a student there. All of them was rejected by him. Jaehwan feel bad everytime he had to be honest to them. He's not interested to be in a relationship at the time because he only had his mind on his study to graduates with a cumlaude. Some sunbaes sometimes ask him to drink and he couldn't refuse since he wanted to be polite. One time, Jaehwan was asked to joint the gathering of class 2009. He's the only junior at the gathering. Many of them asked Jaehwan to drink until he couldn't take another sip. Fortunately there was Minhyun there who accompanied him back to his dorm. Minhyun left him there alone after loosen up some tight clothes on Jaehwan's body. That was the first time Minhyun visits Jaehwan's dorm.

 

***

Time flies. The final test is coming. Jaehwan and Minhyun at the library. They were studying together for their final test. Jaehwan will follow Minhyun everywhere for him easily asks Minhyun if there is any difficulties he found while studying. He thinks that Minhyun is so smart. Minhyun knows many things about medical even the most recently found medical technology. 

"Sunbae, how did you learn medical? I'm following your learning method but i'm still lack of many things" Jaehwan let his curiosity out.

"You didn't with me 24 hours. How did you know how i'm studying?" Minhyun replied as he read his book. 

"Still, i'm with you almost in all of your study times." 

"But you didn't with me since i was young. My father is a doctor. I learn medical since i was young. My father thaught me a lot." Minhyun explained. Jaehwan's eyes got bigger knowing new things about Minhyun. 

"So, being a doctor is your aspiration since you're young?" Jaehwan asked excitedly. 

"You can say that" Minhyun smiled. The younger got fluttered because he wasn't used to see Minhyun smiling. "The smiling face made the blue eyes more beautiful." Jaehwan said inside. 

They became silent and continued their study. Minhyun seems thinking of something. Not long after that Minhyun said it out.

"Jaehwan!" Minhyun looked straight at Jaehwan's eyes.

"Yes, sunbae." Jaehwan lifted his head to find Minhyun's eyes.

"Don't call me sunbae. Call me hyung instead from now on" the second time Minhyun smiles to Jaehwan. Jaehwan a bit confused but then his face changed from a confused face to a happy face.

"Yes, sunbae. i mean.. hyung" they laughed. Jaehwan didn't know why he couldn't stop smiling after that. 

 

***

Jaehwan was at his dorm. He’s cooking for his late dinner. Minhyun’s voice keep resounding in his ears. "..call me hyung instead.." he felt like he’s got an achievement after a year he tried to approached him. He couldn't help smiling everytime he remembers Minhyun's words. He thinks that Minhyun started to open his heart for him.

A song was being played. Wanna Be.

 

_I can’t explain it all with words_

_I keep smiling_

_Where did this feeling come from?_

_(The more I know you, the more I smile)_


	3. Being With You is My Happiness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaehwan and Minhyun are even closer than before. Academic-related things aren't the only reason they meet each other anymore. Their bond is tighter now. On the other hand, Jaehwan found a new side of Minhyun that he didn't see before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, I made the 3rd chapter. I can't wait to finish it all and deliver the whole story to you.

It's a new semester for the students at Hankook University. Jaehwan could see the excited faces of new students who just admitted to their university. They must be happy after made their parents proud. "I know how it feels," he said inside. That showed how prestigious the university was. 

Jaehwan walked them by on the hallway toward Professor Seokhoon room. The professor asked him to come to talk about the lecture that he would assist. He would replace Minhyun's position last year. 

"You can ask Minhyun to assists you" last words that the professor said. He realized that it was so long that he didn't talk with Minhyun yet since the last semester break. Jaehwan busy doing his hobby in soccer and music so he rarely spent his time with his university friends. 

 

Suddenly Minhyun gave him a message.

"Professor Seokhoon told me to sent you the curricula syllabus to help you assist the students. I already sent it to your email. Please check it out." that was the first time Minhyun contacted him again since last semester. 

"Yes, hyung. Thank you. How was your holiday?" Jaehwan replied. The conversation turned out a long conversation that didn't last only for a day. They talked about many things. It has become their ritual to reply the other everytime they finished doing their work. They would stop the conversation only at night and continue it again the next day. It kept like that every day.

 

"I just finished assisting the lecture. It was really fun. Many juniors approached me to ask many things. And the class leader looked really nervous when I told him to meet me. Did I look like that the first time I met you?" Minhyun smiles after reading the message. He recalled his memory when he met the younger at the cafeteria. At that time Jaehwan looked nervous and didn't have the courage to see Minhyun in the eyes. 

"You're not different though. As if I was a teacher that would punish his student. Haha. What are doing now? I'm looking for some useful sources for my assignment now." Minhyun asked. 

"I'm on my way home now. Do you need my help? I don't have anything to do now. Where are you?" Jaehwan asked.

"No need. But if you want to accompany me. Then it's okay. I'm at the library on the third floor." 

"Okay, I’m going there then." Jaehwan turned back. Heading to the library. Just like that, they spent the rest of the day together. 

 

***

One time, Jaehwan was being a moderator of his class meeting to do the charity for cancer patients in Chung Ha Hospital. The hospital that affiliates with their faculty. They talked about the fundraising method and determined the deadline to gives it to the hospital. They agreed to do fundraising in a month and collect money from students in the entire university. Selling some merchandises also one of the options of ways to gain funds. 

 

Jaehwan went to the hospital to proposes the event, estimates the number of patients, gets information about the most needed ones and the amount they need to make it more useful. As he waiting for the representative of the hospital to come, he walked around the building and found a garden near the building. At the time, he saw Minhyun with a patient. The patient is around 8 years old. Minhyun looked really happy. Never he saw Minhyun as happy as like that. Even though they are quite close now but he didn't know this side of Minhyun. As if he found a new Minhyun that day. They walked toward the building holding hands.

"Oppa, when you come here again, don't forget to buy me sweets that you promised, right?" The kid said to Minhyun. 

"Hm.. I promise but don't eat it more than 3 pieces a day okay? Or oppa won't give you gifts again" Minhyun answered.

As Jaehwan would call Minhyun. The nurse called him to meet the representative to talk about the proposal. 

 

Few days after that Jaehwan go to the hospital again to do coordination with the hospital. He intentionally went to the garden. He didn't find Minhyun. He sent him a message, "hyung, where are you?"

Not long after that, Minhyun replied, "I'm at Chung Ha hospital. Why?" 

"Where in the hospital?" Jaehwan asked again as he looked around and found him near the big tree in the garden. This time, more kids around him. They seemed close to him. 

"Hyung." Jaehwan called him. Minhyun a bit surprised seeing Jaehwan who just sent him a message. 

"What are you doing here?" Minhyun asked.

"I'm proposing a charity event here. What about you?" Jaehwan replied.

"Oppa is he your friend? Why didn't you bring him here?" Asked the girl who he saw a few days ago. 

"Yes, Minah. He is my friend. He will be a doctor too just like me. Kids, call him Jaehwan oppa or Jaehwan hyung."

"Hi, Jaehwan oppa."

"Hi, Jaehwan hyung." Greeted the kids at the same time. 

"Hi..!" Jaehwan greeted them awkwardly. He rarely befriends with kids.

"I'm here to play with the kids," Minhyun explained. The kids are cancer patients there. Minhyun was used to visit them several times a week. Since then, every time Jaehwan goes to the hospital he would spend some times to meet the kids even though he wasn't with Minhyun. 

 

***

Jaehwan was doing his assignment in his room. He was suddenly thinking about Minhyun. Even though he's quite close with Minhyun at the time but he felt like Minhyun has so many things that he kept inside. "I'm close to you but you're still felt so far," Jaehwan said inside. Suddenly there was a message appeared on his phone screen. 

"Sunbae, can I ask you about my assignment?" Yunjin asked. 

Yun jin is his junior that approaches Jaehwan these days. Sometimes she asked him to had lunch with her. People call her the princess of class 2011. If last year Jaehwan was being paired with Minhyun but this year, he's being paired with Heo Yunjin. New fanarts of them have appeared on the campus web.

Not long after that, yunjin called him by phone and asked Jaehwan about her assignment. She called for a long time and Jaehwan helped her as what senior would do to help his junior. Sometimes she talked about something unrelated to the assignment. Jaehwan yawned many times but he didn't have the heart to stop the conversation, but he let it out finally. 

"Yunjin, I'm really sleepy now. Can we talk about your assignment again next time? If you still have some questions." 

"Sunbae I'm sorry. Yes, better I do my assignment first and ask you again if I have some questions. Thank you sunbae. Bye" just like that. Yunjin ended the conversation.

Before he sleeps, Jaehwan send a message to Minhyun, "hyung, how was your day? I'm going to bed now. Night" Minhyun smiles reading it. 

"Today was good. Night :)" Minhyun replied. 

 

***

"So, who do you choose?" Daniel asked to Jaehwan at the class before the lecture start. 

"What are you talking about?" Jaehwan didn't have a clue.

"The prince of class 2009 or the princess of class 2011?" Daniel giggled.

"Oh my god. Not again. I feel bad for them to be paired with me."

"Why? Many people like you because you're kind. You can't refuse people. Therefore sometimes they use your kindness for their own benefits."

"I'm not kind. I'm just doing what I think is right." Jaehwan explained. 

"Okay, whatever. So which one did you choose?" 

"Secret." Jaehwan teased his friend followed by Daniel's facepalm.

 

***

Minhyun and Jaehwan on his way to Minhyun's apartment. Jaehwan asked Minhyun to study with him. Minhyun suggested them to go to his apartment. That would be the first time Jaehwan visits Minhyun's apartment. Minhyun looks a bit gloomy that day. While Jaehwan couldn't stop thinking about something that he saw a few hours ago. Jaehwan wanted to visit Professor Seokhoon room and he found out that Minhyun was there. Looks like they talked about something important. Minhyun's face looked sad. Prof. Seokhoon held a x-rays result and he interpreted result to Minhyun. Maybe they're discuss about someone's case, Jaehwan whispered. But something bothered him because it looked like that Minhyun the one who was doing the consultation with Prof. Seokhoon. He didn't want to ask about that to Minhyun. He thinks Minhyun would let him know if he wants to.

He looks at Minhyun's face as they walking together to Minhyun's apartment. The older face still looked worried. Naturally, Jaehwan holds his hand to calm him down. Minhyun startled a bit. That was the first time they were holding hands. Jaehwan only smiles as if he said, "let's walk together." Minhyun also replied with a smile even though he couldn't hide his worried face. 

 

***

Minhyun's apartment a bit spacious for him to live alone. Jaehwan made an assumption that Minhyun is from a rich family. His house is very neat and clean as if he diligently does the house works. Minhyun took 2 glasses, soda and some snacks to serves Jaehwan. They put their books on the table right away to saves time. They studied and talked once in a while. Sometimes only the snacks cracker sound could be heard. Jaehwan took a mineral water by himself at the kitchen where he found many natural supplements there. Rarely people eat many supplements like this and they aren't cheap though, he thought. Hyung seemed to keep his health hard, Jaehwan whispered. 

They agreed to cook for their dinner. It turned out to be a fun activity they're doing that day. The two of them apparently can't cook and the dinner didn't seem appealing but the taste is quite good. They laugh because of their silliness. 

"What is it? I thought you can cook because you suggested to it." Minhyun’s laughing looking at the food on his plate. 

"Hyung, taste it. It's not bad." Jaehwan couldn't believe of the taste. 

Jaehwan felt it. Minhyun's mood a bit brighter after they cooked. He seemed to forget of what he's worried before. They continued their study until almost midnight. Jaehwan put his books and his stationaries inside his bag. He’s ready to go home. Minhyun sent him off. But not more than a half hour after Minhyun sent him off, he got a message. 

"Hyung, I just reached home" Jaehwan massaged him as soon as he arrived home. It turned out to be their late night chats.

"It's good then. What are you doing now?"

"I will take a bath first and sleep maybe. Unless you accompany me tonight." Jaehwan replied.

"What are you talking about? We just met."

"I mean accompany me by keep sending me messages. Tomorrow is weekend so we didn't have lecture." Jaehwan became shy after that because of his confession. 

"What will you do if I'll go sleep now?"

"You're too much :("

Not long after that, Minhyun called him.

"Jaehwan ah, did you already take a bath?" 

"Not yet hyung. Hyung didn't you tell me you will go to sleep?" 

"I'm just kidding. Go take a bath, after that we continue the call." Minhyun suggested.

Jaehwan took a bath hurriedly. He chose the most comfortable clothes to used and called Minhyun right after he finished.

 

They spend the night talking about many things. Sometimes they laugh when they shared funny stories. Sometimes they sad when they shared sad stories. Until one of them fell asleep. 

"Jaehwan ah? Jaehwan ah?" Minhyun called Jaehwan several times and he realized that the younger fell asleep already while they're talking on the phone. He chuckled imagining Jaehwan's face. 

 

***

Their relationship moved to a new level after that. Jaehwan and Minhyun didn't have to find a reason anymore if they want to meet. Sometimes Jaehwan made a surprise visit to Minhyun's apartment and bring a lot of food for them to have dinner together. At the end of the day, they will report their activity to each other everytime they couldn't meet that day. Due to Jaehwan often visits him, Minhyun gave him his apartment's password. 

"So, I won't back and forth open the door for you." He said.

 

Jaehwan laid on Minhyun's couch while the older laid on his bed. They've spent the weekend read their favorite books. Jaehwan usually visits Minhyun every weekend.

"Hyung, next time you should come to my place," Jaehwan screamed to make the older hears what he said.

"Hm..." Minhyun indirectly said yes. 

 

At the time, _Wanna Have_ was being played at Minhyun’s apartment.

 

_At the end of each day_

_I don’t want to say something unsatisfying_

_But at the end of my season_

_I want to start a story with you_

_I want to have your heart_


	4. It Turned Out that I love You More Than I Thought

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They said that jealousy is one of the proofs that you love someone and quarrel in a relationship sometimes can make the bonding becomes stronger.

Come to the third year of his university, Jaehwan felt the time ran so fast. As if it was yesterday he's admitted to this university. Jaehwan just arrived at the medical faculty building where Minhyun already waiting for him there. They exchanged smiles after seeing each other. His blue eyes still mesmerizing me, Jaehwan said inside.

 

The assignments are felt harder and harder as the longer he studied at this university. I don't know whether I can keep my GPA high to get a cum laude, he said himself. Minhyun already started his final research. Sometimes Minhyun lacks sleep and it made Jaehwan worried about him. 

"Hyung, are you still awake" Jaehwan sent Minhyun a message at 2 am to make sure that the older already asleep.

"Not yet. Why?" Minhyun replied not long after that. Jaehwan feels bad reading the message. He's worried about Minhyun's health.

"Hyung, please rest for a while and continue it tomorrow" Jaehwan suggested.

"It almost has done. Why didn't you sleep yet?" Minhyun asked.

"I just woke up and will continue my sleeping now. Night hyung." 

 

Jaehwan rarely meets Minhyun since he started his final research. Jaehwan couldn't go to Minhyun's apartment often because the older usually spends more time in the library and the research room. Meanwhile, many professors asked Jaehwan to be their assistant in some lectures. Jaehwan and Minhyun only meet several times in a month. New faces come to Jaehwan's life as he helps the professors to be their assistant. It made Jaehwan nominated as the most popular sunbae in his faculty. Yunjin still approaches him. Many juniors ship him with Yunjin. Jaehwan is uncomfortable because of that. Yunjin asked him to get lunch together several times but he didn't have any reason to refuse her. He's able to get lunch to whoever it is. As a friend. 

 

Every time he walks on the hallways in his faculty building there are always people greeted him. Because of his activities on some lectures for the first year and second-year students. He walked toward the library and finds out Minhyun nodding his head several times due to sleepiness. Jaehwan took a seat in front of him and pulled out some books from his bag to study. Only to made Minhyun jumps up from his seat and tries to fight the sleepiness. 

"Since when did you come?" Minhyun asked him after he saw the younger.

"I just arrived. Hyung, I bet you didn't sleep again last night?" 

"Nah, I sleep for 2 hours. Omg, I'm so sleepy." Minhyun sulked as he rubbed his eyes. 

"Still, far from the ideal sleeping hour." Jaehwan pouted.

"Hyung, let me help your research. You have to believe me." Jaehwan pouted again to Minhyun. Minhyun pats his head and chuckled a bit. 

"Okay, but you won't complain, right?" 

"No, I won't," Jaehwan answered right away. 

 

Since then, Jaehwan always accompanies Minhyun doing his research. Jaehwan will do that after he finished his lecture and did his assignment. Rather than helping him in his research, Jaehwan more like a reminder of Minhyun. When Minhyun so into his research he didn't realize that time keeps running and he skipped his meals many times. When it's lunch or dinner, Jaehwan will go to Minhyun's place just to bring the food for him and go back again.

"Is it how it feels to have a boyfriend?" Minhyun smiles as he looks at the food he’s got from Jaehwan who's already back. He thinks that his heart might burst due to happiness. 

 

***

The doorbell rang. Jaehwan startled a bit because he rarely has guests visiting his dorm and it was already 10 pm. Also no one told him beforehand. Jaehwan opens the door and finds Minhyun standing in front of him. Minhyun tuga his head on Jaehwan shoulder, "I'm so tired. Can I sleep in your place tonight?" 

"Huh?"

 

It was too sudden. Jaehwan didn't prepare for anything. His dorm a bit messy. Jaehwan wonders how Minhyun knew his dorm and he remembers that Minhyun has ever sent him home while he drunk in class 2009 gathering.

"Hyung, can you wait a bit on the couch while I'm cleaning my dorm? I didn't think that you would come." Jaehwan explained. 

Jaehwan back and forth cleans the dorm. Minhyun sits on the couch while watching television and falls asleep not long after that. Jaehwan puts a blanket on him. He sits beside Minhyun and looking at Minhyun's face at a close. He's so beautiful even when the blue eyes is covered by the eyelids, Jaehwan said himself. Jaehwan’s eyes move from the eyes, nose, and he stopped at the lips. Jaehwan holds back not to kiss him without Minhyun's knowing. He wants their first kiss to be a more memorable one. The two of them sleep on the couch. 

 

***

"Sunbae, I need your help" Yunjin send a message to Jaehwan. 

"What is it?" Jaehwan asked.

"Can you come to classroom 09 at 4 pm? I have a very difficult question and I need your help." Yunjin asked.

"Okay" Jaehwan replied after realized that he doesn't have a lecture at the time. After that, Jaehwan thinking about asking Minhyun for help. He might need his help if it was a difficult case. Not long after that Jaehwan asks Minhyun whether he could come. 

"I have a lecture until 4 pm. I might be late. Is that okay?" Minhyun answered on the phone.

"Yeah, it's okay hyung. Take your time. I'll wait at classroom 09." Jaehwan stopped the call. 

 

At 3.55 pm, Jaehwan walks toward the classroom 09. There is Yunjin already waiting for him. 

"Yunjin ah" Jaehwan called her, as soon as he saw her. He confused because Yunjin didn't bring her bag and books. 

"Sunbae" Yunjin greeted him with her excited face.

"You told me that you have a difficult question. What is it?" Jaehwan asked. Yunjin nodded and looks shy. 

"Sunbae, I like you. I want to be your girlfriend." Yunjin said without looking at Jaehwan's face out of embarrassment. Jaehwan didn't think that he would get a confession that day. 

"Yunjin ah, i'm sorry" That's all Jaehwan could say. Yunjin looks a bit worried.

"What do you mean, sunbae?" Yunjin is in disbelieve in what he said. Pretty sure that Yunjin realized that she's called the princess of class 2011. 

"I can't receive your feeling to me." Jaehwan felt guilty to say that. 

"Why? What is something that you don't like from me?"

"No. I don't have a reason to dislike you but i can't be with you. I'm sorry." Jaehwan turned around toward the door to leave Yunjin. But suddenly Yunjin stopped his walking and back hugged him. 

"Don't go sunbae. What should I do? I really like you."

"Yunjin ah." Jaehwan tried to loosen her hug but she hugged him tighter.

"I always want to see your face. I always want to hear your voice." 

"Yunjin ah, please." Jaehwan one more time tried to loosen her hands on his stomach when suddenly Minhyun showed up in front of the door and saw everything. 

"I want to kiss you." Yunjin continued without knowing Minhyun's presence. 

Minhyun's face is reddened. He walked back fast. Jaehwan untied Yunjin hands around his waist in force and run toward Minhyun. 

Minhyun felt betrayed by being asked for help just to see the scene.

"Hyung, don't get it wrong" Jaehwan's scream filled in the corridor. 

Minhyun stopped for a while and turned around.

"What is something that you think I've got it wrong? Who's got it wrong? You or me? There is nothing between us." Minhyun's voice a bit shaky he turned around again. His breath looks heavier.

"Then why are you mad?" Jaehwan asked. Minhyun keeps walking leaving Jaehwan. 

"Hyung!"

"Hyung!" He runs toward Minhyun and pulls his arm to turns him around. 

"Hyung, I didn't know that she only wants to confess to me!" 

Minhyun understands what Jaehwan was implied but his heart is burning right now and he can't control it. He wants to be alone. 

"Leave me alone" Minhyun tried to loosen Jaehwan's hand. 

"Hyung, I'm sorry." Jaehwan looks Minhyun in the eyes. His hand still holds Minhyun's hand. Minhyun can feel the younger determination to apologize but he couldn't say anything at the time. 

"I just want to be alone now" Minhyun replied.

 

Yunjin a bit shocked watching the scene. She then realized that there is something between them. She walked toward Jaehwan who's left by Minhyun. 

"I'm sorry Yunjin ah you have to see this. As you see now. I already have someone I love" 

Yunjin felt guilty that she was the one who ruins their relationship and disbelieved that her rival is the cold prince. "How didn't I realize that there is something between them while I've always seen them together?" She said to herself. 

 

***

Minhyun at his apartment. He calms himself down. He didn't think a day like this would come. His heart burns out of jealousy. It made him more realizes that he loves the younger more than he thought. He holds his chest to cool down what's burn inside then he has a thought, "what if someday I can't be with you Jaehwan ah?" 

"Is it okay to let myself fall for you?" Minhyun whispered.

 

**

Jaehwan holds his guitar. He looks at his phone screen. There were Jaehwan's messages that didn't reply yet by Minhyun. The older seems still mad at him. Jaehwan checks on his guitar tone before he starts to sing. He presses the record button. He sings _Your Name_.

 

_Don’t forget, whenever you’re struggling_

_I’ll go to you, I’ll stay by your side_

_At the end of this night, holding the light_

_A star rises_

_Look at it_

_It’s blindingly beautiful, right?_

_You let me breathe_

_With your smile like sunshine_

_And even if I can’t see it I can feel it_

_I’ll remember your name_

_Even when time passes and we become adults_

_I’ll keep protecting only you_

 

He saved the recording file and sent it to Minhyun as asking for apologies.

“don’t mad again hyung.”

“You knew who i only see.”

Minhyun smiles while hearing the song. His mood much better now. He replied, "not bad. But I think it would be better if I can see it live." Minhyun laughs after realizing that he can be that cringe. 

 

A half-hour later there are some beep sounds on Minhyun's apartment. looks like someone press the wrong password. It turned out Jaehwan who forgets the password. Minhyun opens the door instead. Jaehwan still tried to press some password at the time. His left arm holds his guitar. Minhyun pulls the younger's arm and gives him a sudden kiss. Minhyun feels that Jaehwan isn't ready with the sudden kiss. He pulled back his head to see the younger's face. 

"Hyung, I'm sorry," the younger said.

The two then tilted their head at the same time and make another soft kiss that turned into a passionate one. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading this short chapter. I made it rather quickly because I already have the inspiration on how the story would become. i hope you enjoyed reading it.   
> every time I wrote these stories, I usually listen to instrumental version of Ailee's song "I will go to you like a first snow". i think the song really suit my angst story. by listening to the song also makes me can make the more stable flow of the story.   
> I hope you're satisfied with this chapter. I can't wait to write more chapters but I have so much to do now. what should I do? I'll try my best to update as soon as possible. XD


	5. The Thing I Can't Tell You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One thing revealed...  
> Minhyun's greedy wish at the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG, i already made some editing but my laptop got lag and i have to do it again.
> 
> well, this is the hardest chapter i've ever made.   
> medical isn't my field and i made up some medical related things so i hope for your understanding.   
> aside from that, i hope you enjoy the storyline.  
> sorry for the short one. i hope i can finish all of chapters soon :)

 

"that's not good." Prof. Seokhoon said after he examined Minhyun's laboratory result. 

"Why there are more abnormal cells produced? Have you diligently eat your supplements?" Prof. Seokhoon asked Minhyun with a threatening face. Minhyun a bit guilty because he skipped some supplements while he's busy did his final research. 

"I'm sorry. I skipped some medication unintentionally" Minhyun replied without looking at Prof. Seokhoon due to scared of being scolds.

"Minhyun ah, you have a rare disease. You have to be more aware of this because we can't look after you for 24 hours. You have to live healthily and eat your supplements diligently. Only by it you can live for a long time." Prof. Seokhoon nagged Minhyun. 

"Yes, Prof." Minhyun replied.

"You don't have to finish your final research fast. You still have much time to finish it. Your health is the first priority now."

"Thanks, Prof."

Minhyun went out from Prof. Seokhoon room with a heavy heart. His mood always down every after he finishes doing the consultation to Prof. Seokhoon. Not only one or two times he blamed God for giving him such a rare disease that can't be cured yet in the latest technology. Why me among a million people in this world. And then he feels guilty by blaming God. Maybe it's better than knowing people who i cared most have the disease, he said to himself. 

He walked out the faculty building. He walked slowly as if his soul is somewhere else. He pressed number 2 on his phone screen to call someone. Jaehwan received the call.

"Where are you?" Minhyun asked.

"I have just arrived home. Why?" Jaehwan waited for the answer. 

"I'm going there," Minhyun replied.

 

As soon as the doorbell rang, Jaehwan opens the door and Minhyun push himself to hug the guy in front of him as if he didn't meet the younger for a long time. 

"Hyung, what happened?" Jaehwan asked curiously.

"Nothing. I'm just missing you." Minhyun replied.

"Hyung, what is it? We just meet yesterday." Jaehwan caress Minhyun's back. Minhyun hugs him tighter. 

"Jaehwan ah, i'm scared." 

"What are you scared of hyung? I'm here for you." Jaehwan pats his back to calm him down. Jaehwan could feel it that Minhyun's heart beats fast. Jaehwan doesn't know what happened to Minhyun but he doesn't want to make it harder for Minhyun by asking him some questions. He believes that someday Minhyun will talk to him. 

 

***

Oculis Coloratum is a rare disease that is given to one person in every a million population. It's a disease that the body produces abnormal cells. One of the syndromes of the disease is abnormal pigment production in the eyes. It can't be cured yet but we can decrease the negative effects by reducing the production of abnormal cells through medication. 

 

Minhyun remembers some doctors explanation about the disease he's got when his parents send him to some doctors after his brown eyes changed to blue eyes gradually. Since then, Minhyun is used to eat some supplements to prevent his body to produce an excessive amount of abnormal cells.

 

Minhyun is in front of his laptop surfing on the internet to find the newest discovery related to his disease. He found many stories from people who have the same disease around the world. Some of them died at a young age. Minhyun is really aware that the disease might attack him anytime. That’s why he never tried to get attached to people around him. Well, Jaehwan might be the exception.

 

His phone rang. Jisung Hyung can be seen on his screen. 

"Yes, hyung!" Minhyun answered the call right away.

"Minhyun ah, what are you doing?" Jisung asked.

"Nothing. I'm just surfing in the internet. What is it, hyung?" Minhyun replied. 

"Ey.. shouldn't i miss my own brother? It was so long that i didn't contact you. Did you eat your supplements diligently?" Jisung wanted to make sure that his brother took care of his health well. 

"Yeah. I take care of my health well." Minhyun lied a bit, doesn't want to make him worried if he told him that he forgot to consume some supplements. 

"Good then. Don't forget to eat a lot of food and consume your supplements diligently. I can't take care of you all the time. There are so many works that i had to do these days." Jisung feels sorry. 

"Don't worry hyung. I always do the consultation with Prof. Seokhoon too. He takes care of me well." Minhyun explained. 

"Good to hear. I will come to your apartment when i'm free next time. Bye. I love you." Jisung ends the conversation.

Minhyun "sigh" after Jisung ends the phone call. It's another time he feels bad for people around him thinking that he might make them worried. He always thinks that he doesn't have any problem with his health. He can do exercise. He can eat many foods without having many forbidden ones. This disease doesn't affect his daily life much unless the tired of consuming supplements every day and hearing his families reminder to not skip the medication. Because of that since he was young he's a bit aware that he can't look down his disease. 

 

He hears someone pressed his door lock screen. There are only a few people who know his door's password, his parents, his brother, and Jaehwan. His eyes got bigger after realized it might be Jaehwan. He closed all of his windows on chrome. He collects all of Oculis Coloratum related hard-data on his desk and puts it into his bag in hurry. For the first time, he regrets giving Jaehwan the password. 

 

Jaehwan opens the door. He greets the older, as soon as he saw Minhyun.

"Hyung!" Jaehwan greeted Minhyun with his excited face. 

"I bought dinner for us," Jaehwan said as he waved the paper bag. Minhyun smiles as he scanning and wondering what's inside the paper bag.

"Don't worry. i only bought some healthy foods. You nagged a lot when i bought the junk foods." He said as he prepared their dinner on the dinner table. 

"Bear with me because i want to see you for a long time," Minhyun said it with his smiley face after giving a kiss to Jaehwan. It made Jaehwan's face turned red because of the double attacks. He isn't get used to the kissing yet.

 

Minhyun goes to the kitchen to take some drinks for their dinner only then he started feeling things. His body feels so weak and he almost loses his consciousness. He tried to get his consciousness back and brought 2 bottles of soda to the dinner table where jaehwan already waiting for him when not long after, a big thud sound can be heard from the kitchen. Jaehwan who was arranging their dinner is startled after hearing the sound in Minhyun’s peaceful apartment. He turned his head around at once to find the source of the sound. It turned out Minhyun is lying on the floor near the kitchen.

He stood up from his chair in a hurry and checked Minhyun’s condition up. The first thing he checked up is Minhyun’s breath and pulse. His heart racing due to unexpected thing happened. He tried to wake the older up by tugging the older’s body with his hands but the older is still unconscious. He carried Minhyun to his room and lies him on the bed. The older’s shirt is a bit wet because of soda that was leaked. His hair a bit sticky because of that too. He looks messy. Jaehwan placed his hand on Minhyun’s forehead and face by his hand to check Minhyun’s body temperature up. The older’s body is a bit warm. He takes Minhyun’s wet t-shirt off and covers him with a blanket. He washed Minhyun’s sticky hair by a wet towel and place the other wet towel on his forehead.

“you didn’t look like you were sick. Or is it me who didn’t pay much attention?” He talked alone as he squeezed the towel for a=the second time.

 

Jaehwan placed the thermometer on Minhyun’s mouth after he found out the first aid box near the kitchen. It showed 39.1 0C which is the normal temperature is between 36.5 0C and 37.5 0C.

“you didn’t eat your dinner yet.” Jaehwan became more worried.

He walked toward the kitchen to cleaned up the mess and eat his dinner alone before he came back to Minhyun’s room.

Minhyun looks shivering after he came back to the room. His body temperature didn’t change much. He sat beside Minhyun’s bed. He held Minhyun’s hand who was shivering. He took another blanket to put on Minhyun’s topless body. Jaehwan placed Minhyun’s head onto his arm and hugged him to remove the coldness.

“i don’t know whether it will work but i was always getting better quite fast everytime my mom hugs me when i’m sick.” Jaehwan talked alone for the umpteenth.

Jaehwan falls asleep slowly.

 

Jaehwan wakes up several times during the night to check Minhyun's condition up. To be exact he couldn't sleep because of that. Nearly the dawn, Minhyun's temperature back to normal.

 

Jaewan fell asleep beside him when Minhyun wakes up. He's a bit confused for a while. _Did I faint last night?_

He holds the towel that was put on his forehead before. He tried to recall what happened last night. His memory stopped at bringing-soda moment. "I might faint after that."

His head is hurt due to bumping with the floor. He looks at his left side. Jaehwan’s there still fall asleep. Minhyun smiles finding the familiar face he looked first in the morning.

“you must be really worried because of me.” He said as he caresses Jaehwan’s cheek.

Minhyun got out of the room and walked toward the kitchen to find mineral water. He sits on the couch and pulls his head back with his eyes closed trying to decrease the hurt of his head.

_My body starts to show some reaction now. I never faint before. Is this the effect of my disease?_

 

Jaehwan stay still for a while after waking up and recalling what happened to him last night. He stood up right away after realizing Minhyun wasn’t there. He got out of the room and found out Minhyun lying on the couch with his eyes closed.

“hyung, are you feeling better?” Jaehwan asked Minhyun. Minhyun opened his eyes after heard Jaehwan’s voice.

“my head’s a bit hurt but you don’t need to worry, it might be because of the bumping on the floor.” Minhyun said as he followed Jaehwan who walked toward him. Jaehwan sat beside the older and placed his hand on Minhyun’s forehead.

“you’re still a bit warm but it better than last night. I’ll make u a porridge then.” Jaehwan got up from the couch and Minhyun suddenly holds the younger’s hand.

“thanks” Minhyun looked up to the younger and smiled.

“nevermind” Jaehwan replied with his smiley face.

 

Minhyun and Jaehwan eat their breakfast now. Minhyun feels so warm not because of his body temperature but because of realizing Jaehwan’s feeling. He admits that he’s very happy now. Thinking about having breakfast with the one he loves like this is something he never imagined before. _Is it how it feels to have a little family?_ He holds his smiles and put it deep down inside his heart. He is then has a new wish now. _I want to spend my entire life with you. Am i too greedy?_ he said inside his heart as he saw the younger who is busy with his breakfast. Jaehwan pulled his head up and look at the older’s eyes who looked at him dearly.

“what is it hyung?” jaehwan said as soon as he realized the older looked at him for a long time.

“i love you” he replied. Jaehwan’s eyes got bigger. That’s the first time he said _I love you_. He smiles.

“i love you too” Jaehwan replied.

 

 


	6. It's Meant to be revealed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to current time, Jaehwan continues his life in Korea. after some months has been working as a doctor, the unexpected thing is revealed. something that is not so good but better than before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first thing i wanna suggest you is please prepare tissue before. hehe.  
> i made this chapter in the current time setting, so the storyline would be more dynamic (i hope so).  
> hope you enjoy the story and i'm sorry in advance if there are any mistakes. :)

 

_Back to current time_

 

So many years passed by. Jaehwan now learns how to accept reality. No matter how hard he is mad at this world. He can't change something that was already disappeared from this world. Just like how he reports the death of someone to his family who really loves the person. The regrets he usually sees in the family members' eyes is something that he always felt for some months after Minhyun passed away. _Why You gave him the disease among a million people?_ Until he realized that death isn't something that he can control. 

 

He's now working at Chung Ha Hospital. He applied for a job there as soon as he returned to Korea. Not need to wait for long to get accepted in the hospital. Many doctors know him already since he was a student and he did his co-assistant there too. Aside from that, Prof. Seokhoon recommended him to the hospital.

 

He visits the garden often to meet some kids who always play there. Some kids that he usually played with when he was still a student already moved out from the hospital. Some other kids, still stay at the hospital. Some other kids passed away. A sad truth. 

 

"Oppa, if i eat a lot of food can i go to school?" A young girl asked Jaehwan.

"Of course. You have to always listen to your mom too if you want to recover soon so you can go to school and meet many friends." Jaehwan explained as he pats her head. 

The kids playing around Jaehwan's seat. He's got a healing time everytime he plays with the kids. It somehow helps him decreasing the hurt he felt because of Minhyun's death. 

 

"I want to have kids." Minhyun's voice comes in Jaehwan's head. The voice is so clearly as if Minhyun's there.

"I want to have a little family with you." The voice continues resounding in Jaehwan's ear. There is a burn inside his chest as the stronger the feeling to get the wish comes true. Minhyun said it in this exact garden 2 years ago. 

 

There is still sadness in Jaehwan's eyes. People around him can feel it. He isn't as cheerful as he used to be. Daniel often visits Jaehwan's apartment only to accompany him. Many nurses at the hospital told Daniel that sometimes Jaehwan cries alone in the doctors' room at night. He visits Jaehwan's apartment often because he tries to divert Jaehwan's mind from Minhyun. It keeps like that for some months.

 

***

"Jisung hyung, i can't see my friend to be like that anymore," Daniel told Jisung with a high pitch voice through a phone call. It made Jisung startled. 

"What do you mean?" Jisung confused.

"I can't see Jaehwan suffering like that anymore as if Minhyun is really dead but actually he's lying at my hospital. Please tell him the truth and let them meet." Daniel asked Jisung desperately.

"I want to but it's Minhyun himself who didn't want to let Jaehwan knows the truth." There is a silence after that. Daniel really knows the reason. Minhyun wanted Jaehwan to forget him as soon as possible. Not that he really wanted to but he didn't want to be a burden for Jaehwan anymore. Minhyun wanted Jaehwan to pursue his own happiness and get used to live without him. _The sooner he forgets me, the better it is_. Minhyun realized only a miracle can help him to continue his life. His condition was getting worse every month. Now Minhyun is in a coma. He is in between _doesn't want to leave this world_ or _too tired to continue_.

 

"He still wants to survive from the disease. He is eager to live. That's why he still tried to fight the disease even in his coma state. Even though his body can't fight anymore." Some doctors said. 

 

Daniel can't say anything anymore. He ends the conversation right away. On the other hand, Jisung stays beside Minhyun who is lying on the bed.

"When will you wake up baby? I miss hearing your voice. I miss hearing your laugh. If only i can exchange something to your health, i will give it all to you." Jisung can't hold his tears. He holds Minhyun's hands and tries to speak to Minhyun often. He doesn't want Minhyun feels lonely because doctors said Minhyun still can hear other's voice. 

 

***

Jaehwan walking toward the cafeteria of the hospital to have lunch there with Kim Donghan. He's a new doctor at Chung Ha Hospital too. They said he's nurses favorite because he's not only handsome but also kind.

"If you want to get Dr. Kim Donghan’s heart, you have to fight Dr. Kim Jaehwan first." The first nurse said.

"How can i win over Dr. Kim? He's handsome, clever and many senior doctors know him." The other nurse replied. 

"As long as there is Dr. Kim, you can't get a change even once then. Look at how Dr. Kim Donghan looks at Dr. Kim. As if he is his source of happiness." The nurse gossiping after they saw Jaehwan and Donghan walked them by at the information center.

"But i heard Dr. Kim's love story is so tragic." One nurse open more topic of conversation. The other nurse becomes curious.

"Really? What is it?" 

"His lover is also a doctor in other hospital but he's got Oculis Coloratum and passed away after 5 years of relationship." The nurse felt sorry. 

"Ugh, i feel sorry for him. When did he pass away?" Other nurse replied with a sad face. 

"Not long ago. It's around this year, they said." The second nurse answered. 

"If it's a long time relationship it must be hard for him to forget about his lover. So that's why sometimes he cries alone in the doctors' room at night." The first nurse feels pity for Jaehwan. 

"Dr. Kim ever said this before, i don't have anything to be afraid of anymore since the thing that i was most afraid of has happened before. They said it's about the death of his lover." The nurse ends the story and looks proud of herself that she knows the story. 

 

***

"Is it your own ambition to be a doctor?" Donghan opens the conversation after they got their lunch.

"Huh?" Jaehwan didn't focus. Donghan chuckled a bit.

"Did you really want to be a doctor before?" Donghan repeated his words.

"Aah... Yes. I think to be a doctor is the most ideal profession. I work to help people to get healthy." Jaehwan replied. 

"What about you?" Jaehwan continued.

"At first i didn't want to be a doctor but my parents wanted me to and after i learned more about medical things, i think a medical study is really interesting and i enjoy being a doctor now. Even though this profession isn't easy." 

“aahh.. i see” Jaehwan responded. Donghan looks at Jaehwan several times because he’s curious about something.

"Um... Dr. Kim, if you don’t mind to answer, why did you cry last night? It's okay if you don't want to tell me, but you can come to me if you need any help." Donghan said.

 

Jaehwan didn't expect Donghan would ask him about that. He remembers something happened last night when he cried at doctors room, the room that the doctors usually used to rest, Donghan who would use the room found him crying. Donghan didn't ask anything to him at the time. He only pulled Jaehwan's body and gave him a hug to calmed him down. 

 

"The one i love passed away some months ago.” Jaehwan chose to share it.

“He and i did a co-assistant here at this hospital. Many things in this hospital remind me of him." Jaehwan continued. Donghan can see the sadness in Jaehwan's eyes.

"i’m so sorry. It must be really hard for you."

 

At the same time in Minhyun’s room.

“Minhyun ah, should i tell Jaehwan about this? Should i tell him that you’re still alive?” Jisung asked while he holds Minhyun’s hand. Minhyun stays still.

***

They said a lie, sooner or later, would be uncovered either by yourself or by the world you live in. That’s why being honest is always better even if it’s hurt.

Jaehwan run and run again toward Asan Hospital after he got off from the taxi he used before. He is still using his doctor uniform. He asked the nurses in the information center about Dr. Daniel in a hurry. The nurse saw Chung Ha Hospital logo on his uniform. 

“Dr. Daniel not yet to come here.” the nurse said. Jaehwan called Daniel right away. His hands are trembling. People there are looking at him after hearing the noise around the information center. Daniel didn’t pick his phone call.

“sir, are you okay?” the nurse asked. Jaehwan ignored the nurse.

“nurse, is there any patient named Hwang Minhyun.” Jaehwan talked fast and made a gesture that he needed her to answer it fast.

“there are a lot of patients with the same name. I think you should...” Jaehwan cut the nurse. 

“internal medicine? Where is the internal medicine building?” Jaehwan asked again as he knocked Information center desk many times. Internal medicine area is the most probably place that Minhyun would be treated at.

The nurse explained the building location and gave him the instructions on how to get there. Asan Hospital is the most famous hospital in Korea for cancer, organ transplantation, and cardiac treatment. The hospital area is quite big. He needs some minutes to reach the building from the main building. He walked really fast toward the internal medicine building. He is recalling many times of what he’s heard before at Chungha Hospital a few hours ago. An unexpected conversation.

 

_Few hours ago_

After finished examining the last patient, Jaehwan’s heading the doctor's room. He passed two doctors by and greeted them. They are in the middle of talking. 

"Hwang minhyun is in a coma now." The first doctor said. 

Jaehwan stopped for a while after hearing a familiar name mentioned by the doctor. He continued his walking and wondered why there are many people with the same name. 

"Is he the one that your professor in research now?" The second doctor asked.

"Yeah, the one with a rare disease, Oculis Coloratum. It's a miracle that he's still alive." The first doctor replied. 

Felt like time’s stop for a while. His heart beats hard inside. Hwang minhyun and Oculis Coloratum keep resounding inside his head. His heart’s racing faster now. Jaehwan turn around and walked toward the doctors. 

"Excuse me, Dr. Kang, who is the patient with Oculis Coloratum?" Jaehwan asked the doctor. His voice felt shaky. Dr. Kang startled a bit because he didn't expect someone would join in. 

"Hwang Minhyun. Do you know him? Ah right. He's a doctor from Hankook University. You must know him." Dr. Kang explained. Jaehwan is in disbelieved. 

"Where is he now?" Jaehwan asked in a hurry.

"He is in Ansa Hospital now." Dr. Kang replied. 

 

Jaehwan ran outside the building leaving the doctors in confusing. He took a taxi to save time.

“Am I dreaming?” He asked himself. _What is it all about? What really happened? Why i can't think of anything? What happened to him? Is it really him?_  

 

***

Internal medicine building is in front of him now. Daniel calls him suddenly.

"Where are you?" Jaehwan asked him as soon as he received the call. 

"I just arrived at my hospital. What is it about?" Daniel asked and wondered what happened. 

"Meet me in front of internal medicine building." Jaehwan demanded. 

Daniel didn't move for a while. He starts to realize something. "Is it about time he knows everything?" He asked himself.

He runs toward the building. Jaehwan walks back and forth looks impatient. He's heading Daniel as soon as he saw his friend. Jaehwan grabbed Daniel's collar. 

"Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you tell me that he's still alive?" Jaehwan tried hard to lower his high-pitched voice. His shoulder moves up and down as he breathes and releases. Daniel a bit shock seeing this side of Jaehwan. 

"I'm sorry, Jaehwan ah" Daniel couldn't say anything more. Jaehwan more realizes after seeing that, the patient is indeed his lover. Jaehwan loosen his hands up from Daniel's collar. He feels being fooled by this world all this time. But the most regret thing he feels is the fact that he couldn't be there, beside Minhyun, at the time he needed him most.

Daniel let Jaehwan release his pain by crying in front of him. He hugged Jaehwan to calm him down. 

 

Daniel leads Jaehwan to Minhyun's room. At the time, Jisung sits outside the room. He looks tired. He's startled for a while after seeing Jaehwan but he knew that this day would come. 

"Jisung hyung" Jaehwan greeted him. 

"Jaehwan ah..." Jisung looked nervous. Jisung made a gesture to let Jaehwan knows that the room is there. Jaehwan feels like his legs lose its strength. He walked toward the room and found Minhyun lying on his bed with many medical tools attached to his body. Minhyun stays still, looks weak. It hurts his feeling looking at Minhyun in that condition. He sat beside Minhyun bed and touched Minhyun's hand that was attached with an infusion needle. 

"Minhyun hyung, it's me." Jaehwan started his words and tried to hold his tears. 

"Why did you lie down like this? When the last time i saw you, you could walk. You still talked to me. You still sent me the text."

"Why don't you wake up and do a lot of things like before?" 

"Minhyun hyung, please wake up." Jaehwan pleaded. 

He looks at Minhyun's face for a long time as if he is scared if one day he couldn't see Minhyun's face again. He stays there for an hour. 

 

Jisung and Daniel talked about many things in outside the room while they're waiting for Jaehwan. After Jaehwan came to them, Jaehwan asked about Minhyun's examination result. He wants to know Minhyun's recent condition. He got the result a few days after that. He took a day off that day because he couldn't focus on doing other things. He rests at his apartment. 

"Why is this so hurt?"

"Imagining Minhyun hyung fought it alone is so hurt." 

"I wasn't there when he needs me the most." 

"It's so hurt realizing all of them hide it from me. I feel like being betrayed by all of them." 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> i'm sorry for the angst story. but if you read my previous work, you will get a clue of what happened to Minhyun. this story still has a relation to my previous work. 
> 
> i want to share thank you to @bluejaetama she gave me many useful knowledges about medical study :)
> 
> you can read my previous work here,  
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/16127123


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